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Telangana thief shows why you shouldn’t drink on the job
There’s a certain art to pulling off a heist — meticulous planning, flawless execution and, of course, a quick getaway. But for one hapless thief in Telangana, the only thing he ran away with was the title of the year’s most bizarre robber.
It all began when our would-be mastermind scaled the heights of Kanakadurga Wines in Medak district, expertly removing roof tiles under the moonlit sky. Once inside, he carefully disabled the CCTV cameras like a seasoned pro, raided the cash drawers, and packed up his loot. A clean job, or so it seemed.
What’s a successful heist without a toast? Perhaps that’s what our protagonist thought as he eyed the treasures around him. But moderation was not his strong suit. Bottle after bottle, he drowned in his own celebration until he passed out right there, on the shop floor, surrounded by his ill-gotten gains and an ever-expanding puddle of spilled spirits.
The shop staff discovered him the next morning, blissfully unconscious, his pockets jingling with stolen cash and his face sporting a small injury — likely a souvenir from his nocturnal misadventures.
As things stood at press time, the thief was in no condition to talk, let alone confess. “He’s still heavily drunk,” confirmed the police, who were keeping an eye on the woozy intruder while piecing together the rest of the story. A case has been registered, but any hopes of a meaningful interrogation will have to wait until the hangover subsides.
Moral of the story? Never drink on the job — especially if the job involves robbing a liquor store.
Meerut man slaps strangers to feel good
Chocolate, music and meditation are largely known to generate dopamine in the human brain. But for one dude in Meerut, slapping people around has turned out to be a newfound way to produce the ‘feel-good’ hormone.
We learn that our man resorted to an out-of-the-box ‘slap therapy’ for some respite from his depression.
Domestic upheavals and unemployment had driven the man over the edge, so much so that he had to resort to slapping whomsoever convenient.
Our 23-year-old had reportedly slapped random people on the streets of Meerut for several months, using his two-wheeler as a getaway bike. Being a non-discriminatory chap, his list of victims featured men and women alike. A retired PCS officer also got a taste of it.
Everything was going fine for our slap-happy guy until CCTV footage of his actions started doing rounds on social media. The cops took notice and subsequently arrested him, following which he was then ‘slapped’ with a charge under BNS section 115 (voluntarily causing hurt).
He apparently told cops he had suicidal thoughts and had been slapping people randomly while riding a scooter for a dopamine rush, a police officer reportedly said.
Vadodara man gets engineering diploma without enrolling
A 25-year-old from Ghayaj village in Vadodara apparently woke up one fine day to find himself part of an academic scam. Without ever setting foot on a college campus, he was reportedly enrolled in an engineering diploma programme and even been awarded a scholarship.
The young man visited the social welfare department to apply for a scholarship for his actual studies, a BA course he had just joined after clearing his Class 12 exams on a second attempt. Imagine his shock when officials informed him that, on paper, he was already a college-goer and had received financial aid for an engineering diploma.
They scanned his Aadhaar number and discovered that his academic journey was already underway on paper, at least, at an engineering college in Gandhinagar.
Our man also found out that an account was opened in his name in a bank in Ahmedabad. The scholarship money was deposited in his name in the bank.
Clearly, the education model is so advanced, students don’t even need to show up to graduate, some quipped on social media.
One unkind X user wrote: “Reminds me of a man who claimed to top an ‘Entire political science’ course without attending classes”.
We have no idea who this person is talking about.
BTS fans from Maharashtra, aged 11 to 13, fake kidnapping
BTS, the global K-pop juggernaut, has inspired millions of fans—known as ARMY—to do extraordinary things. But even the band would be surprised to know they inspired a staged kidnapping in a quiet Maharashtra town.
Yes, in a sleepy town in Dharashiv district, three little dreamers proved that the power of fandom knows no bounds — or sense. Fuelled by their obsession with the global K-pop sensation, three girls aged 11 to 13 concocted a plan so audacious that even Hollywood heist movies would blush: They wanted to fake their own kidnapping to get to South Korea.
The story began innocently enough — a shared love for the seven-member, jawline-blessed K-pop band BTS. But like any good plot, things escalated quickly. On December 27, a frantic call to the Dharashiv police helpline reported a suspicious scenario: three girls being “forcibly taken away” in a school van. Chaos ensued. Authorities launched a search operation.
Tracing the call to a state transport bus going to Pune, the police sprung into action. The bus was stopped, the girls were found, and they were escorted to safety—not to a BTS concert, but to the police station. Cue disappointed sighs and probably a few tearful “Oppa!” laments.
“We wanted to go to Pune, work there, and save money to meet BTS in South Korea,” they confessed, blissfully unaware that their logic was as fragile as their piggy-bank savings plan.
Their parents, torn between relief and facepalms, reunited with the girls. The police, meanwhile, probably wondered if they should add “pop culture counselling” to their job descriptions.
Andhra Pradesh’s drunk Spider-Man
Have you seen how sometimes Spider-Man, cool as a basketful of cucumbers, rests high above the ground on his web when he is emotionally disturbed? Similarly, this week a 32-year-old man from a village in Andhra Pradesh, denied money for his tipple, went to sleep on electric wires atop a pole, leaving everyone gasping in disbelief.
Our Spider-Man was deeply offended when his mother refused to fund his drinking spree, despite receiving her NTR Bharosa pension for the poor. Already by then fuelled by a heady cocktail of liquor and wounded pride, our hero stormed out, announcing to the world—or at least his village—that he was not to be trifled with.
Our Spider-Man then scaled a towering electric pole and decided to nap on live electric wires, presumably dreaming of a world where alcohol flowed as freely as the electricity.
Fortunately, the villagers were quick too. They cut power to the transformer, and duly recorded his pole-top snooze on their mobile phones so that lesser mortals across the world could gawk.
Eventually, our Spider-Man was coaxed down from his lofty perch by the patient villagers.
Bengal man celebrates goat’s birthday
A man from Chinsurah in Bengal last week earned his well-deserved minute of internet fame when he celebrated the birthday of his pet goat.
The exact birthday of Raja, the goat, is not known so the owner celebrates on the day he found Raja, January 2.
For his internet debut, Raja’s special day was meticulously planned. Around 150 guests were invited and the food menu included everything from daal, rice to papad and sweets. The show stopper of the menu was a chicken dish.
Raja was seen in the photos wearing a party hat and a red sweater, looking like the king he truly is among his kind.
Dead man walks, thanks to Maharashtra speedbreaker
The speedbreaker is often seen as a hindrance but it was thanks to one such bump on the road that a man in Maharashtra lived to tell the tale after he was declared dead.
The resident of Kasaba-Bawada in western Maharashtra’s Kolhapur district had suffered a heart attack and his relatives had rushed him to a private hospital. The doctors reportedly declared him dead.
The 65-year-old man’s neighbours and relatives reacted swiftly upon hearing the news of his demise and started to prepare for his last rites. An ambulance began the journey with the man’s body from the hospital to his home.
Then the ambulance hit a speedbreaker.
His wife noticed that there was a movement in his fingers, and that was not just the speedbreaker jerk tricking her eyes.
The man was rushed to another hospital, where he underwent an angioplasty and walked home a fortnight later.
Karnataka vs Andhra Pradesh: DNA test demand for buffalo
A fight between the two villages over a buffalo may seem like a fitting storyline for a Priyadarshan film, but in real life one such dispute almost resulted in a DNA test for the animal.
Ahead of a local fair, a buffalo was meant to be offered as a sacrifice in an Andhra Pradesh village on the border with Karnataka. However, the animal, blissfully unaware of its duties, entered a village in Karnataka, where the locals accepted it as their own.
Soon, villagers from Andhra Pradesh arrived in the Karnataka village to retrieve their lost buffalo. Things quickly escalated as villagers from both states insisted on a DNA test on the buffalo.
The two state police forces got involved. They held a meeting, and in a rather anti-climactic outcome, decided the buffalo would remain in Karnataka.
Not guns & gulaabs; in Madhya Pradesh, guns and electricity bills
The word Chambal has an almost immediate association with daku aka dacoits for many Indians who have grown up on Gabbar Singh asking: Kitne admi the.
Modern-day Chambal, in Madhya Pradesh, you would expect, would be different. But a peculiar tale has emerged from Morena district that could make you do a Lalmohan Ganguly in Satyajit Ray’s Sonar Kella and declare it as “dacoit-infested country” (although the sidekick in the Feluda series was referring to the dacoits of the Aravallis in Rajasthan).
The administration in Madhya Pradesh's Morena district has suspended the gun licences of 59 people for defaulting on their electricity bills.
What is the connection between guns and electricity bills, you ask? Read on.
According to the administration, whenever officials approached them to clear their dues the defaulters would brandish their guns.
You can call it Chambal-style. Morena is the headquarters of the Chambal division.
"Gun licences of 59 persons have been suspended. We have been repeatedly getting information from the department [state-run power company] that when teams visit these people, they create pressure by showing their firearms," Morena district collector Ankit Asthana told PTI.
(Compiled by Subharup Das Sharma, Sohini Paul, Sriroopa Dutta, Payel Das, Aniket Jha, Rupanwita Bhattacharjee, Sourjya Bhowmick and Samrat Sardar)
