Schools are counselling parents of Classes X and XII, many of whom get “hyper” before the board exams and expect children to follow a fixed schedule or study pattern that may not coincide with the student’s unique learning style.
The schools are telling parents to not expect all children to wake up early to study or react when they disapprove of what their children are doing. The parents are also being urged to allow the children to spend time with their friends so they can bounce ideas off each other.
The stress on the home front multiplies when a child’s performance in a school exam falls short of the parents’ expectations, a principal said.
As exams get closer, anxiety tightens its grip on parents who keep worrying that the child’s scores might
not match the time and money invested so far for him or her, another principal said.
“There is heightened stress at home when there is non-alignment between the aspirations or abilities of students and their parents. Many of the parents, especially those whose children are in Class XII, get hyper or stressed out when their children’s performance in half-yearly exams fails to satisfy them. The parents fear their children
might lose out on college admissions abroad,” said Satabdi Bhattacharjee, principal, South City International School.
Right after the Durga Puja holiday, the school gave parents an opportunity to have a one-on-one session with its counsellor. Sixteen parents have so far attended the counselling and many more are enrolling, a school official said.
The one-on-one session is followed by a group workshop where parents’ fears and concerns are addressed.
Parents’ inability to deal with their children’s dependence on phones and devices are some of the concerns they shared with the counsellor.
“Parents fail to set or practise rules when it comes to usage of devices by their children. When exams are closer, they seek the school’s help,” said Anjana Saha, the principal of Mahadevi Birla World Academy.
The school will hold counselling sessions closer to the exams. “Each child has an individualised learning pattern. We try to break the myth that there is an ideal method of preparation for exams which all students should follow,” Saha said.
It’s normal for some children to take a break between studies or to not wake up early to study, she said.
“Children find alternatives (to the conventional mode of study) and parents have to be more understanding of that,” said Saha.
“There are occasions when parents get hyper because they feel that the time and money they have invested is not matching with the child’s results or the expectations they have set of them.”
Unlike before, the current curriculum does not encourage learning by rote, said a teacher at an ICSE school. Instead, it requires students to have in-depth understanding of the subjects.
Children should be allowed to have conversation with friends so they could discuss ideas among themselves, the counsellor at St Augustine’s Day School Shyamnagar told parents at a recent session.
"While there has to be an air of seriousness, children also need to be given space to play, relax and browse social media," said Rodney Borneo, the principal of the school.
“Parents are hyper because of the social construct and societal expectations created around exams. There is an unconscious effort to demonise examinations and as schools, we have to humanise it so the stress does not pass on to the children,” said Borneo.
“We told parents to be a support to their children, instead of looming large over them or become too overbearing.”
